And through this change of heart I have finally come to realize one of the things that God has blessed me with. I was so stuck on what God did NOT bless me with that for so long I missed what he DID bless me with--a heart for broken people. It's beginning to make sense to me now. I have always been so intrigued with people who have stories of brokenness but even more intrigued when their stories end with redemption. Ever since I decided psychology was going to be my major I have always, always, always felt like this is exactly where I belong. So often I sit in class, learning new things, and think to myself I was made for this!
Another realization I've had over the past few months is that I do not want to limit my possibilities with what I want to do with my life. After getting my bachelors I want to get my masters. I actually want to get two similar yet different masters--one in school counseling and one in marriage and family therapy. I do not want to limit my future. And even more so, I think I might want to do more than counseling.
Yesterday I was spending some time reading unChristian and a small portion of the book was about this organization called To Write Love on Her Arms. I had heard of this before but never really knew what it was about. I decided to look it up and found that this organization is dedicated to people who are broken. People who are experiencing addiction, abuse, self injury, suicidal thoughts, etc. This is all stuff that I am so interested in. I want to get involved but I don't really know how. I hardly know anything about this organization but I am so intrigued by the few things I do know.
During lunch today, Royce told me to let myself dream. Because since I looked up To Write Love on Her Arms, I cannot stop thinking about it. And today during worship, I thought about how cool it would be to start an organization along the same lines as TWLOHA. I would love to be involved in something like that and I thought it would be so neat if Royce could gather people together for a band and we'd have a guest speaker and travel the country doing tours. This would be amazing to get involved with broken people. I mentioned this idea to Royce and he said I need to let myself dream.
So as of right now, my goals in life are:
- get married
- have children
- be a stay at home mom
- be a school counselor
- be a marriage and family therapist
- potentially start my own organization or get involved in one like TWLOHA
- be involved in Big Brothers/Big Sisters
- write a book on dating or marriage
- make a difference in someone's life
A new song that I am currently into right now is called Let the Waters Rise by Mikeschair. I guess I feel part of this song really resonates with me:
don't know where to begin
it's like my world's caving in
and i try but i can't control my fear
where do i go from here
sometimes it so hard to pray
when You feel so far away
but i am willing to go where you want me to
God i trust in You
there's a raging sea
right in front of me
wants to pull me in
bring me to my knees
so let the waters rise
if you want them to
i will follow You
