I have attitude.
I would say the majority of the time I give attitude (or the impression that I'm being mean, rude, etc.) is not something that I have at all intended to do. Since high school I have been aware that the way I come off to other people is not always pleasant even if it is unintentional. I suppose that is why I would hear from other people in high school that people who didn't really know me described me as being "mean." And with all honesty, I rarely have any intention of being mean to others. I rarely have the intention of giving others attitude.
I know that a lot (or all) of this stems from the way that I handle things. I would say that I am very opinionated and I will make my opinions known if given the chance. I will not back down in an argument--and not because I want to win or prove a point but because I really do believe what I am saying. That part may just come from my family background simply because all of my family members are the same way. I am also very head strong. I am feisty. I will not give up. And I will battle you till I'm satisfied that you see my point of view.
Though I do hate confrontation. Or at least initiating it. I will avoid it at all costs if I can.
Back to my attitude though. I really need to work on the way I deliver or present my ideas and myself to others. I hate that I am often told that people think I am being rude, or giving attitude or the sense that I don't like them. Because again, hardly ever is that true. As I drove home from work today I realized that I need to change this part of me. And I need to change it pronto because I am tired of the misconceptions.
My solution: ask God to help me speak lovingly to those around me. I need to let Jesus transform the way I interact with others. I want Christ's love and grace to be evident in my actions and the words I speak. I cannot hand out His love and grace on my own. I need Him to work through me. So I will begin praying that I will be more loving towards others with my words. That when I feel like I am beginning to fail I will call on the name of Jesus to help me. I do not want people to feel like I am being rude or mean.
And when I do fail, I want to have the courage and the humility to ask for forgiveness.
