to the current me.

Dear Me,

Where have you been? Remember when you used to be fun and care free? Full of life and always looking for a way to have a good time. What happened? It hasn't been that long. You're more serious now. I don't like it.

I miss the 18 year old you. The one who spent summer nights with her three best friends swimming in a pool and then jumping on the trampoline soaking wet. The girl who would laugh until her stomach hurt with her friends. I miss that girl who was adventurous and had very few fears. I miss the girl who got a thrill from doing things outside her element. I miss that girl who could balance friends, boyfriend, family and work so perfectly. I miss the girl who had silly stories to share with everyone about some crazy adventure she had taken. I miss the girl who loved to get all dressed up just to take pictures. I miss the girl who constantly thanked God for the beautiful life she had because despite how ugly it could be, she saw the glass half full.

But now. Now there aren't very many silly stories of crazy adventures. Crazy adventures are a thing of the past, stuck in the 18 year old you. Some how they didn't make it into the early 20's. Now there are not any more swimming and trampoline jumping nights. No more looking at the stars and talking about life with your best friends. No more playing dress up. Now there are more fears in you than there ever were. Now you can hardly balance work, school, a boyfriend, friends and family. What happened when you turned 23? Or 22? Or even 21? Life just seemed to slip by without giving it a second glance. And now you look back and wonder where that 18 year old girl got lost. Because now you so desperately wish to bring her back. In high school your life motto was live without regrets. And you earnestly believed it and lived it. Shamefully, now you're looking back on the past few years regretfully.

Let me give you some advice so you don't regret how you live the next few years: be spontaneous. Don't worry about always having to plan your trips out of town. Just go. And explore. And be adventurous! Look at the stars more. Some of the best conversations, some of the silliest stories and some of the most memorable moments come from these times. You've been dying to watch a good--no wait, beautiful--sunset for months now. Do it. Drive out to the lake. Better yet, drive out to the beach. Don't worry about tomorrow's obligations. Don't worry about the time. Just do it. And enjoy the beauty God has created for you to enjoy. Call your friends more. Just to say hi. Call them when you think about them or remember something from your past. Be the friend you're dying to have. Be the friend you once were. Don't restrict your activities because of your fears. Your mother has always admired your bravery. Let go of your fears and bring back the courage of that 18 year old girl. Explore your surroundings more. Even in your hometown. Find things you never found before. Take more pictures. You'll back at the pictures with fond memories. Finally, let your hair down. Don't be so serious. Life doesn't have to be serious all of the time. Don't let the 23 year old in you suck the life out of you. Bring back that 18 year old girl who was care free and open to whatever life threw at her. You may be old(er), but you're not that old.

Let go. And live.

Love,
Me