ch-ch-changes.

In 15 short days I will be married to the love of my life and I could not be more excited! I can't wait to go to sleep next to him each night and wake up next to him every morning. I can't wait to make our house our home. I can't wait for everything that is mine to be ours. I can't wait for the adventures life will give us. I can't wait to see him every day. I can't wait for him to come home to me every night. I can't wait to take care of him. I have been waiting for this day for 24 years now (okay maybe not since I was an infant but probably since I was like 8 years old). And now, I only have 15 more days to wait. I am so ready to start a new chapter in my life.

But I am also sad to be ending a period of my life that I will never experience again. This period of living at home, being dependent on my mom/having my mom take care of me. A couple months ago I wasn't feeling well for a couple days and I was at home and my mom was home. My mom was taking care of me. And I thought to myself this is the last time my mom will take care of me while I'm sick. And that realization made me sad because everything is changing. Just yesterday I was frustrated with wedding details and the pressure I feel to make the right decision. And I was telling my mom about it while she was sitting on her bed and she just told me, "come here and lay next to me. I'll take care of you." And again this thought pops into my head, this is the last time I will come home and my mom will take care of me. It's always been a tradition in my family that on your birthday there is a present at the foot of your bed when you wake up. As we've grown older it changed to on the floor next to your bed because we probably would've kicked it off while we were sleeping. So being that today is my birthday there was a present outside my door when I woke up this morning. I wasn't expecting it because I only asked for money this year. So it brought a smile to my face that I did get to open one present. But again the thought came to mind, this is the last time I will ever get a present by my bed on my birthday. It's not like I'm afraid Royce won't take care of me. He will. And he'll do a fabulous job. So while I'm thrilled and can't wait to be married, I'm also mourning a part of my life that will never be the same.