1. Tradition is out. Sort of.
There are several things that are traditionally done at a wedding that I'm not doing. For starters, I am not having programs. But in lieu of that I did make a chalkboard that will sit in the lobby of the church to serve as my program. It has all the important info: who is in the wedding and a special thanks. No one has to know what song is being played when and what the order of service is. It's typical protestant church wedding stuff. The other thing that is most traditional that I threw out is cake. Yep. No wedding cake will be served at my wedding. Royce and I hate cake. So why would we want to eat it at our own wedding? So instead we're serving one of our favorite things that we rarely indulge in--doughnuts. We are having a "cake" table and the doughnuts will be displayed beautifully. And we will even halve a doughnut to feed each other.
2. The best weddings are the ones that scream BRIDE & GROOM
I mean their signature is all over the wedding. From the flowers, to the dress, to the music, to the food. They have their thumbprint all over it. This pretty much goes hand in hand with the first topic. But I'll give you some examples of how our stamp is all over our wedding: first off, the dress. I never wanted a poofy dress with all the frills and frump. I knew this going in. So I had my eyes set on a flowy, floor length, simple dress. I tried it on. Didn't hate it. Didn't love it. And then I tried on another dress, and another dress, and another dress and you get the picture. I went dress shopping two times. The first time I was very picky because I thought I knew what I want. The second time I was more open to other ideas. I tried on all different dresses the second time. And I knew I was getting closer and closer with each one but still hadn't found "the one." Well the lady helping me pulled a couple short dresses off the rack and I told her I didn't want to try them on because I felt like getting married in a church I couldn't have a short dress and if I tried on a short dress I would fall in love. She insisted I try it on. So I did. And guess what? I fell in love. And I bought it. I am totally a short dress kinda girl. Another place our stamp is on is the food. We are serving heavy hors d'oeuvres. At first I wasn't keen on this idea as I had never seen it done before. But I warmed up to it. And now I'm so excited for it. Because I keep describing it like Costco samples. And I love Costco. For their samples. And so does Royce.
3. Weddings are more fun when they are unique.
I've been to several weddings. But none of them made me ooh and ahh and think, wow this is so fun! Instead they were more like the first one, and then second one, and the third one, and the... It was all the typical stuff you see at a wedding. I keep describing mine as the wedding I've never been to. It isn't the kind where you have assigned seats or you find your own table. Because there won't be enough chairs and tables for everyone. Instead it's more of a mingling and conversational atmosphere. There is no head table. No sweetheart table. But I guess you could say we have a sweetheart couch. The food and drinks will all be in different locations so you'll have to move around to get it. And hopefully when you move, you'll bump into someone you know and strike up a conversation.
4. Some traditions are great to keep!
There are things we aren't throwing out. Like dancing. And typical dances. First dance. Father/daughter dance. And fast dancing. That's something I'm most looking forward to. We also are using two traditional songs during the processional. Canon in D for the bridesmaids walking down the aisle and Bridal Chorus (Here Comes the Bride) for the bride walking down the aisle. The rest of the music isn't as traditional. But it's mostly all instrumental which is traditional-ish. For the most part, the ceremony is pretty traditional with communion and unity candle lighting.
5. The more unique you strive for, the harder the preparations become.
I learned this early on. Before getting engaged my dream wedding was vintage. Green, brown, ivory, lace. After getting engaged my wedding evolved into modern. Very modern. Green, gray, white, tin metal. I'm not having roses anywhere for flowers. I saw my flowers, I don't even know what kind of flowers they are because they are so unique (thanks to my peeps)! Early on we wanted to play acoustic love songs during the prelude (seating of guests). That became a difficult hunt to find the right songs to play. And then I didn't feel like getting all 15 of the songs lyrics approved so we tossed that idea out. We also tried to find current day songs in an instrumental version for people to walk down the aisle. Nothing felt just right. So we nixed it. Having a short dress meant having cute shoes because they would show. I said this was going to be the death of me. And I felt like it was for several weeks. Until I found the perfect ones. And back to my dress. The whole time I was trying on dresses, I would ask the lady how many people have you sold this dress to? I was always looking for the answer, very few. Or hardly ever sell it. Or I have only sold two of them. <---That was the answer I got for my dress. Which made it even more perfect! I didn't want your typical wedding dress that people always saw. And if I had a long dress I didn't want strapless with that bunchy-ness on the bottom half. But mine is strapless and I'm okay with that because it's also short.
All in all, I learned keep what you like about weddings and throw out old ideas that you don't like. Like bouquet toss and garter toss. We are throwing those out. People reluctantly go out on the dance floor for that. And only because other people convinced them to. Unless you are 8 years old.
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